Happy 2013.
The last couple of days have been fast paced.
Two weeks off for winter vacation seemed like a lifetime.
Now suddenly we're back to crunch time on Monday.
I can't really comprehend how quickly life is moving.
& moving....and moving...
We visited my dad on New Year's Eve up at the cemetery.
That visit marked year three since he passed away.
I cried like I haven't cried in a long time that day.
It's difficult to admit that it has been three years.
Yet, it's almost impossible to believe that the people I surround myself with and the relationships that I have around me, are only three years new.
I was a different person three years ago.
& while I'm blessed to be so full of love and the light of people whom have loved me through this tragedy...
I'm also deeply saddened that I had to experience something so horrific at what should have been the prime of my father's life.
I will never stop feeling robbed of moments we didn't have.
When he first passed, I cried about the big picture.
No wedding day.
No grandchild holding.
No watching me grow up.
Now, what hits me the hardest is not being able to ask him a four worded question.
Not knowing how he would react to my boy drama.
Not knowing what he would say about the person I am becoming.
Little things.
But I feel so incredibly hurt by them.
It's a grieving process.
It takes time to fix a broken heart.
But in my heart of hearts, I know that this is all part of God's plan for me.
& That is a comfortable feeling.
